Monday, 24 January 2011
Hughes Brothers, The Book of Eli (2010)
HUGHES A1: You know what's cool? The Road. Did you see that film? That's a cool film.
HUGHES A2: You're not wrong, my brother. Kind of a downer, though.
HUGHES A1: All the way down.
HUGHES A2: You know what it was missing?
HUGHES A1: What?
HUGHES A2: Ninja swordplay.
HUGHES A1: Well -- what film isn't improved by Ninja swordplay?
HUGHES A2: Ninja swordplay is cool.
HUGHES A1: Way cool!
HUGHES A2: Tell you what, though. You know what's cooler than a Ninja swordsman?
HUGHES A1: What?
HUGHES A2: A blind Ninja swordsman!
HUGHES A1: Wowz! Like Rutger Hauer in Blind Fury?
HUGHES A2: Rutger Hauer is cool. Who's cooler? -- except, maybe ...
HUGHES A1: ... a black Rutger Hauer?
HUGHES A2: You read my mind!
HUGHES A1: Obviously a black Rutger Hauer is going to be cooler than some pasty-faced white Rutger Hauer.
HUGHES A2: That's nothing but the truth. There's something missing though. What? What's missing?
HUGHES A1: Cannibalism?
HUGHES A2: Obviously we'll include the cannibalism.
HUGHES A1: Scenes from Deadwood?
HUGHES A2: Yeah, yeah. But ...
HUGHES A1: Mad Max 2?
HUGHES A2: You think I'm an idiot? Of course Mad Max 2! No ... something else ...
HUGHES A1: Distinguished elderly British character actors making fools of themselves in rags with fake US accents?
HUGHES A2: Goes without saying. No, I'm thinking something else is needful.
HUGHES A1: [Pulling the name from thin air] Truffaut's Farenheit 451?
HUGHES A2: What?
HUGHES A1: Not all of it. Just the last scenes.
HUGHES A2: That's it! That's the perfect combination of cinematic influence for the greatest film ever made in the history of mankind! The Road meets Blind Fury meets Mad Max 2 meets Farenheit 451 with a dash of Deadwood and Rising Damp, just for good measure.
HUGHES A1: Let's do it!
HUGHES A2: Yeah!
HUGHES A1: You don't think ...
HUGHES A2: What, my brother?
HUGHES A1: You don't think ... that people might think ... it's a bit silly?
HUGHES A2: Did they call The Road silly? Is a Utah Film Critics Association Award silly? Is it?
HUGHES A1: You're right! Let's do it!